When my marriage fell apart in Spring 2021, my life was turned upside down. I was forced to give up my house, my beloved dogs, and deal with the heartbreak all whilst being expected to carry on with life as normal. I found myself in a deep grief for the life I had built for myself as I looked at the broken pieces of it shattered around me. But there's no compassionate leave when your wife leaves you. I was angry, in denial, a bit broken by it all.

The consequent depression hit me like a tonne of bricks, and I found myself turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms and shutting myself off from the support I desperately needed. With the help of some amazing charities, alongside the unwavering support from family and friends, I was able to start getting my life back on track. As part of rebuilding my life, I knew I needed something positive to distract myself with. I wanted to start running my own business and make something of myself, to build my confidence and regain a sense of identity. If I could support mental health charities in the process, even better. I am still today a serving member of the Royal Air Force, and supporting veterans and the wellbeing of serving military personnel is something I am so incredibly proud of.

When the idea of men’s fragrances and grooming products came up, it didn’t take long to see the potential. Taking pride in my appearance, especially when it comes to my incredibly manly ginger beard, this felt like something I could really believe in and put my heart and soul into. My business partner gave me a "10/10 for narcissism" when I first suggested STROVEN as a name for the brand - a portmanteau of my first and last name, Steven Rowe. But it worked - Stroven was born! We buckled down, built a brand, an online community and a loyal local following, all from our kitchen table.

Then, at the end of 2022, I became what I'd always wanted to be - a Dad. The twins were born and my life turned upside down again, but for a good reason this time. I didn't recognise it then, but with hindsight I realise that I suffered with postnatal depression after the girls were born. It's surprisingly common in Dads, and something I think we should talk a bit more about.

It felt like everything was going wrong at once - struggling with relationships at work, struggling to keep my cool whilst dealing with the stress of two tiny babies I was now responsible for, worrying about what kind of Dad I was going to be, failing miserably to give up smoking despite my best attempts (I still haven't). On top of this, I was having to spend weeks away from my young family on military deployment, making everything harder. On deployment, it's practically impossible to avoid alcohol. Drinking culture is heavily engrained into military life, despite everyone knowing how f*cking terrible it is for both your physical and mental health. Long story short, things got bad - I see now this was the boiling point that I had been leading up to for months.

When I got home, I knew things had to change. I'd gotten so good at hiding things from my partner because I felt like this was something I had to deal with by myself. She had enough on her plate, she didn't need to be looking after me too. Eventually, we came to the decision with my medical team that antidepressants might be an option. But this also meant a "downgrade" - basically I wasn't fit to do my job if I had to take pills to stop me feeling wobbly. But I was wobbly WITHOUT the pills, surely I'm safer to deploy now than I was before? But that's not how the MOD see it. There's a massive stigma in the military about seeking help for mental health and how it then leads to a downgrade, which then can lead to you missing out on promotions, being seen as a "weak link" in your team, or worst of all, losing your job if it happens to coincide with a contract renewal.

Whilst I was downgraded, I put my focus again on Stroven. I became the "mental health champion" for my squadron, and I think that the work I was able to do during this time, alongside winning the Silver Armed Forces Covenant Award, helped me in nailing down a long-awaited promotion at the end of 2023.

I'll not be ashamed to say, I probably came off my SSRI's too soon. With a new rank, a new job, a new posting - everything felt like a fresh new page, full of opportunities. But my contract was up for renewal in a year's time, and I knew I wouldn't get signed on if I was still medically deemed unfit to hold a rifle and serve my country. So I stopped, probably quicker than I should have, and the withdrawal effects were very nasty at times. Throughout all this, Stroven, and vision I still have for it, has helped keep me focussed and grounded.

The amount of work it has taken to get to where we are now has been insane, but we're a few years down the line and the feedback has been incredible. It's played such a vital part in my mental health recovery and I'll be forever grateful for the amazing community we have built.

I am a professional cosmetic formulator and have worked with international brands developing a wide range of skincare, self-care and grooming products for a number of years. When the opportunity came up to work with Steve building something to help support not only his own journey but also mental health charities, I saw a gap in the market for a range of products designed for men, that were high-quality, scientifically researched, made with love, care and attention and with a strong message at the core. 

Originally, I was only ever supposed to be the "ghost formulator" for Stroven. The plan was to develop a range of products with Steve, get them accredited and legal to sell, and set him up so he could run with this new passion project. Then my husband took his own life, and suddenly, it became very, very personal.

An RAF veteran, he had been struggling with unresolved childhood trauma, addiction, and severe depression for a number of years. A number of years during which I was his carer, trying desperately to get him access to - and to engage in - the support he urgently needed. Some days were better than others.

I realise now, nearly 3 years on, that so much of what I have put into Stroven has been a love letter to his good days.

On good days, he took pride in his appearance and liked little luxuries pertaining to self care. There was always a distinct correlation betweem grooming and mood. Days when he'd hype himself up to go and get his hair cut, he'd go all out with a full hot towel shave, eyebrow thread - the works. There'd be a spring in his step for days. If he took the time to style his hair in the morning, it was going to be a good day. If he decided to wear a fragrance, it was going to be a good day.

I talk about the link between grooming, fragrance and mental health because I have seen it so clearly with my own eyes. It's so real, and something devastatingly simple can have such a remarkable impact on the way a person feels about themselves. There'a a knock-on effect, and the inverse is also true. Neglecting grooming makes downward spirals spiral harder.

It was every woman’s worst nightmare when the police knocked on my door. During my time as his wife and carer, I developed a staunch militantism for men’s mental health, particularly for serving members and veterans of the armed forces. In the wake of my grief I saw countless men around me struggling silently with their mental health, refusing to seek help for fear of the social stigma and career stagnation. This strong desire for activism has only increased with my husband's passing, and I am more driven than ever to help Stroven become a household name that encourages men to look after themselves both physically and emotionally.